All These Years!

Sometimes in life

there are these rare moments of beauty

&

grace

that Bless your life so deeply.

This is one of those moments for me,

and I know that

It is ONLY the Father who graciously chose me as His own,

who does anything of worth in me.

AMAZING!!!

Which brings me to the last several weeks of my life.

When my friend Amie,

asked me to record the song I wrote 29 years ago,

for my graduation,

for her daughter's graduation,

I was just blown away!!!

It was just one of those moments,

in life,

that you know is just bigger than you are.

AMAZING!!!

So Sunday was recording day.

I was so excited.

And a little nervous.

I had the boys pray over me before I left.

Their hands on me as we pray is a powerful thing.

POWERFUL!!

Recording all by itself is such an interesting process.

I had NO idea how it worked.

And the man that owns the studio we went to, Duane, was so kind.

He kept handing me his ear phones so I could hear each step being laid out.

I laid the piano down first,

and then my amazingly talented friend Kathy,

laid down the vocals, 

in three part harmony,

I might add.

AMAZING!!!

Duane made sure I was in every part of this process.

I guess because I wrote the song,

he could feel the importance of it to me.

So great!!

It took probably about 2 hours to get it recorded,

and the end product is AMAZING,

&

humbling.

And I owe so much of this dream to this man right here.

He has believed in me

WAY

before I ever believed in myself.

He knew that I could do it.

He has always LOVED my songs

and encouraged me to write.

With every song I've written,

I have had the biggest supporter on my side.

He has helped me when I've gotten stuck,

watched me cry in frustration,

and has loved me through it all.

This moment in my life

would not be possible without him.

God knew EXACTLY what this girl needed when He brought me this man.

He loves me like Christ loves the church.

He is an amazing Believer and leader.

He teaches me every single day

how to be a better daughter of the King.

So here is the little cardboard CD sleeve with my CD tucked inside.

Every time I hear it

I want to cry.

Duane wants me to rerecord it with guitars, the piano, and a mandolin.

He loved it so much!!

Kathy will be going into the studio soon,

and wants to include this song on her first CD.

I am Blessed.

Now let me just say,

this song is about graduation.

Written again, 

when I was 17 and in my Senior Year of HS.

I have never considered it 

my best work by far,

but it is one of the dearest to me.

Well, they're are all dear to me,

but there is something about this first one.

You may be wondering about future CD's.

Yes, it is in the works.

Kathy thinks I should start working on another CD

of songs I've written.

I have always been a singer/songwriter,

but with my voice in its current state,

I am a songwriter without the singer part.

Hopefully, by the fall it will be back,

and my first full length CD will be a reality.

I have gotten requests for y'all to hear it.

First of all,

y'all are so sweet,

and second of all,

I'm working on that.

Not sure how to do it,

but I'm gonna ask my very talented

IT stepson =) to help me out.

I'll keep you posted.

And yes I am still writing.

In fact,

this has given me such a boost of confidence.

Writing takes time,

and that is something I am limited on so often,

but this has definitely 

given me such a desire to write more.

So I am writing,

and am looking SO forward 

to seeing how God will use

what He writes through me.

Because this just doesn't come from me.

Of this I am certain.

It is all God.

I am just a willing vessel.

I love Him so!!!

Have a Blessed and Beautiful day !!

Friday Focus ~~ Is this really happening?!!! WHAT?!!?!!!!!!!

About a month ago,

I got a call from a friend of mine

and she wanted to know

if I knew how to get

a hold of the girl

who wrote,

played and sang

the song 

at my Senior Graduation.

29 Years Ago.....

ahem.....

That girl?

It was ME!

What?!!

She remembered that?

Yep, and she could even sing me a line.

WHAT?!!

You see I graduated with her now husband.

They were not together then,

and in fact,

she was only like in the 9th grade

when we graduated.

How did she remember that?

Well, her daughter is graduating this year,

and guess what?

She is wanted to use that song for the DVD 

she is doing.

She is putting pictures on the DVD

and running the music in the background.

How cool is that?

Well, I told her I would dig it out.

I hadn't played or sang it since high school.

I dug it out,

at the bottom of my piano bench.

Said a prayer,

because I had no clue how it even went,

and as I was walking to the piano,

it all came back to me.

What?!!

Well another problem arose,

I can't sing right now.

Since my surgery,

my singing voice is so different,

so I suggested a lady that I play piano for.

She is the lead singer of a ladies gospel ensemble,

and my friend couldn't believe I was suggesting her.

She sang at her wedding!

WHAT??!!!

Well now,

God be ALL over this!!!

So guess what?!!

On Sunday,

we record!

WOOT!!!

I am SO very excited!!  

God is SO good!!!

This song meant so very much to me,

back in the day.

The whole situation surrounding 

my class asking me 

(Miss very unpopular and homely girl)

to sing and play it

was 

AMAZING!!

My friend that is singing the song for me,

asked me how I even did that at graduation?

I told her I had NO idea!!!

There were like 500 people there,

and little ol shy, backward,

homely.....

did I say HOMELY.....?

me at the piano.

A teeny, tiny fish,

in a GREAT BIG earth sized sea.....

Yep, no clue!!!

Other than GOD was with me then,

and He is with me now,

and this entire situation has fueled my desire

to continue writing.

I'M SO EXCITED Y'ALL!!!!!

DON'T PEEL ME OFF THE CEILING YET!!

THERE'S RECORDING STILL TO DO!!!!!

Love Y'all ~~ Have a Blessed and Beautiful Weekend ~~

Love Them Like Jesus

I had a situation come up yesterday

that was frustrating.

Sometimes I just want people to act the way I think they should.

The way that would make the most sense.

The way that would be best for someone else

instead of themselves.

It was frustrating.

I was upset.

Frustrated.

Annoyed.
Yeah, I know,
not pretty.

This morning,

I was on my way to pick up Sir Cuteness

and put my phone on shuffle,

and as God often does,

it was one song after another

of just what I needed to hear,

and then.....

Love them like Jesus,

by Casting Crowns,

came on,

and as soon as it started

my heart started to stir.

My Spirit being moved by my God

to.....

Love them like Jesus,

Carry Them to Him,

His yoke is easy,

His burden is light.

You don't need the answers 

to all of life's questions

Just know that He loves them

&

stay by their side,

Love them like Jesus.

Tears welled up in my eyes

&

my heart

as the Father so lovingly reminded me

what my job is.....

To Love Them

Like

Jesus.

That's it.

Don't offer my opinion.

Don't tell them the best way to do things.

Don't get frustrated with them 

&

do damage with my words.

Love them.

Like Jesus.

Every time.

Let Him lead me.

Let Him guide me.

This is a lesson I am learning 

in so many areas in my life.

Areas that are just so far outside my realm

of control.

Areas that I need to learn to let go.

Areas that need me to be Jesus' hand extended

no matter how I feel.

I want to carry them to Him

for

His yoke is easy

His burden is light.

I don't have to have all the answers to life's questions

(AMEN & AMEN)

I just need to know that He Love's them
(which He does, even more than I do)

&

just stay by them

& 

most importantly.....

Love 

Them

Like
Jesus.

6 Week Post Surgery Update

WOW!

Yesterday was 6 weeks since my latest surgery.

I had Anterior Cervical Dysectomy with Fusion.

I am feeling better,

and healing.

My scar is looking better.

The doctor is pleased with my process.

My voice is finally back.

I still can't sing much yet,

but I am so glad not to be squeaking.

=)

The biggest issue I am having right now

is back spasms.

They come on quick,

and quickly kick my booty!!

Last Friday I was out with G and Sir Cuteness,

and I had one come on quick.

By the time I got to the truck,

I could barely walk upright.

G knew instantly that something was wrong.

She said, "Muscle Spasms?"

to which I said yes and climbed in and put my seat back.

My dear Sir Cuteness was in his car seat,

and reached over to me and said 

"Grandma, I'm gonna pray for you."

So he reached over and put his little arm on my elbow,

he put his head down and said a prayer,

and immediately my pain was better.

Like way....way....better!!!!!

I felt so good that we even made one more stop on the way home.

My dear Sir Cuteness is 4.

4!

Yes the faith of a child.

They could solve world peace I tell you,

and do it all with faith!!

The reason I am having these spasms

is because my spine

is actually responding to my surgery

by realigning itself.

Is that not crazy??!!!

The body is so incredible!!!!!

God is AMAZING!!!!!

The x-rays before and after surgery are truly astounding!!

So that is why they keep happening,

but man,

will I be glad when things are on a more 

"normal"

scale =)

On another note,

I had some blood work 

done the other day,

and my white cell count is low.

Again.

So they ran some more tests.

Things look pretty good.

Which I am so thankful for,

so they will repeat blood work on the 1st,

and if my white cell count is still low,

then they are gonna send me to a

hematologist.

I'll keep ya posted.

Thank you for caring about me.

Truly.

Have a Blessed and Beautiful Day ~~

2 Weeks Post Op and the Day that was Suppose to be Surgery.....

So howdy there!!

So today is the 25th,
the day I was suppose to have surgery.
I'm so grateful that I'm 2 weeks post op
today.
I'm so thankful they could move surgery up
by a whole two weeks!!!

So let's talk about some things that are,
and some things that are not
two weeks after surgery.

For one thing,
I have more range of motion side to side
than I have had in many months.
What a Blessing!!!

Pain is starting to really subside,
and pain meds are less.
YAY!!!
Although the nurse told me on Friday
I am well within range of what I am taking.
Which is not much.
I don't like pain meds.
YUCK!!!

Yesterday was the first day I actually
wore full on make up.
And I drove.
Ok,
so it was just like 2 minutes from my house,
but it counts.
It so counts.

So let's talk about what not's back yet.
My voice.
I'm still squeaking,
and seems that the nurse was most concerned about that
when I talked to her last week.

I'm hoping it comes back soon!!
My paperwork says it could be two weeks.
Well today is two weeks.
So voice,
come on back will ya?
=)

But I am learning a lot in this season.
I have been a good patient this time.
Well better than previous surgeries anyway.
Generally, I rush things.
I.don't.like.being.down.

But this time,
it is like the LORD let me
realize how serious things are,
and He has given me so much strength
to dig my heels in
and do this thing.
RIGHT!

I am thankful.
So thankful.

So I'm gonna press on and press in.
I'm willing to wait
and
pray
and
ponder
and
love.
This season holds gems for me.
I am thankful!

*****

On another note,
my precious Dak
starts a new job today.

He sent me this yesterday.
Am I the only one,
or does he look like a
bonafide adult?
How did this happen?
But in so many ways,
he still looks like my baby.
Oh wait,
that's because he is.

He is so stkinkin' cute!!
Can you stand it?

I haven't seen him in ever so long,
but such is the life of a mom of a 20 year old.
=)

anyway.....

He starts a new job today.
He had to be there at 6:00 AM.
He had already text and FB me
before I even got up.
Cutie.

And then there is this cutie.....
He is the funniest and cutest little dude.
Sir Cuteness lives up to his name.
So.stinkin'.cute.

He has been so sweet too.
He has been helping me at every turn.
When I first came home from the hospital,
he would grab my arm
and help me down the hall,
and on this ice,
he has been helping me get around,
the little bit I have gone out.
He is just the sweetest.

And then there is my Mr. Winslow.
I think I shall have to dedicate a post all to him.
He is the most beautiful person I know.
I am a well Blessed woman!!
Well Blessed!!!

Ok,
so that does it for now.
I hope you have a

Blessed and Beautiful Day ~~

The Recovery Process.....

Good Morning All ~~

I am home and resting.  

I came home on Tuesday 

and have just been vegging on the couch mostly =)

When they got into my veterbrae,

they found that it was indeed

completely collapsed in on itself,

and the bone spur was large

and was sitting on a nerve.

They were able to get the bone spur off

and crush it up and use it to fill the cage 

that now replaces my disc.

The lingering effects 

I'm feeling is my left arm and hand.

It seems I have to think a little more to use it,

just like typing this post.

My left hand seems slower to me.

It is considerably weaker,

but yesterday for a bit 

I felt like it was a little stronger.

But by bedtime it felt weak again.

So I'm sure this is just all a process.

I'm so thankful for God's timing in this.

They told me as bad as it was,

that just a small fender bender 

or a fall,

could have caused paralysis.

I'm so very thankful.

God is so good!!

I am moving slowly.....

resting....

but recovering.

Thank you for the prayers ~~

Have a Blessed and Beautiful day ~~

Surgery Set and now Moved Up.....Update on health things.....

Well hello there!

I know,

I am such a blogging slacker.

I wanted to jump on here and ask y'all to pray.

    

I am having Anterior Cervical Dysectomy with Fusion

on Monday.

Surgery was set for 25th of this month,

but they had a cancellation

and the doctor wanted me to get in as soon as possible.

So they put me in that spot.

You may be wondering what 

this is.....

I have stenosis in my neck that is causing compression on my 

spinal chord,

and that is causing weakness, pain and various

and other sundry issues.

So my doc says this needs to be fixed.

If I were to get into a wreck or have a serious

fall, it could be bad.

Really.bad.

So they are going to go into the front of my neck,

and take out my disc in C5-6 and add

a plastic piece filled with bone

harvested from my vertebrae.

They will then screw a plate over the top of my vertebrae.

This will allow my own bone to continue to grow in this space

until it is fused.  

This process takes 16-18 months.

The plate will no longer be needed at that time,

but they just leave the plate in.

I am to be at the hospital at 7:00 am and surgery will be mid-morning.

God is good!!!

I know He loves me and I know He's got this.

He is helping me as I fight a case of fear.

But He keeps reminding me that that is not coming from Him.

He doesn't give us a Spirit of fear,

but of power, love and a sound mind.

Thank you for loving me.....

and my family.....

Have a Blessed and Beautiful Day ~~