Okay. . .Here we go. . .

Well, I'm gonna tell ya today the news from the doc and then we're moving on.

Yesterday was my doc appt for this knee of mine. Just a brief background: I have degenerative arthritis in my knees that I've had since my youth. My first surgery was at 7. So this has been a lifelong problem in some ways. Including the latest surgery in Feb I've had 5 knee surgeries, many injuries, lots of braces, lots of meds and about a ton and a half of ice :) oh yeah and now shots; coritzone and Sinvisc, and my knees still hurt.

The decision was made to have surgery in Feb on my right knee because my kneecap was out of place. So doc did a lateral release and chondroplasty in hopes that all would be well when it healed. Well, after 8 weeks of PT and still a lot of pain doc decided we needed to give this shot series a try. So we did that and yesterday was my follow-up appt. As you know from earlier posts still having pain here doc. Well, I was ready for the next thing. Give it to me doc what you got?!!
Yeah he had nuthin'!! What? Really? Are you kidding me?

We talked a minute, he did the usually poking around on my leg that keeps it inflamed and mad at me for days, and then he looked at me and said what you never want to hear: "We've done all we can do." What?!!

He is really an amazing doc. He has sympathy and tell-it-like-it-is honesty, rolled up in compassion; he is a rare breed this doc of mine. So he proceeded to tell me something I've never been told by a doc in all my years of doctoring; he looked at me and said with sadness in his voice, "This has not been a success." Are you kidding me? The surgery, PT, shots etc etc has failed? Yep that's what he was telling me. So in my desperate need to have this knee out of the pain category I asked him the question that no knee patient really wants to ask, but out of desperation will; what about a knee replacement doc? We know that is where the left one is headed, but lets just do the right one first and get this thing under control. Then he said the second most shocking thing of the day; "It won't work." What? Okay work with me here doc seriously. Nope, not even a knee replacement will work on this knee.

The prob with this knee has to do with the patella and the "extensive" (his word) arthritis that has formed under it. It's pretty much ate up under there; now that is never good!! And they just don't have a good procedure for fixing that. A knee replacement replaces the interior and posterior femoral (bones on the inside and out side of the knee), but not the Patelly (kneecap). Paetella femoral replacements (as they are called in the very techinical med world) are risky at best, and in my case the arthritis is spreading (of course) so in about 2 years it will have gotten in under the new cap as well and then where will you be? Yeah that's not good either. So now what?

Well, he has given me two options: 1. The Washington University in St. Louis, MO ~~ this is a research facility that doc feels is a very good option; he says I'm a perfect candidate for something like this ~~ can anyone say guienna pig? :)
2. The Mayo clinic in MN.

So where am I on all this? Well, glad you didn't ask me that last night !! :) What happened with the lady had the issue of blood after she had exhausted all money and docs (human) possibilities? She touched the edge of Jesus' garment. Reach out girl ~~ Trust me ~~ That is what God is saying to me. Listen I know that is why he gave me that song yesterday, because he knew the news the doc had for me. It was not a surprise to Him!! Thank you Jesus that nothing is a surprise to you!! You know all!!

That is why this song means so much to me. These are the lyrics that I'm holding onto right now: And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home I'll trust in You I will live to love You I will live to bring You praise I will live a child in awe of You Because seriously it's just not about me. People face much worse things in life; I've faced worse in my life, so I'm moving on to face what is before me. I pray that it is not a wheelchair someday but if it is God is God. I will live to love you Father!! I will live to bring you praise!! I will live a child in awe of You ~~ and wow am I ever in awe of You!! You alone are God of all ~~ You alone are wothy Lord and with all I am my soul will bless Your Name!! Yes, I will live to love you, bad knees and all!! Thank you Jesus for loving me. You are the best!! Amen (sobeit)

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So now to the moving on part of this: My baby sis and her family is at Big Cedar Lodge this week on vac so I'm going to drop Dakota off with them to have fun in the sun until Sat and I'm going to spend the day with them today floating all my cares down the Lazy River!!

Thank you so much for reading and listening and for your prayers. It means more to me than humanly possible to relate. I love each one of you that reads this whether I've met you in person or not.
Loving you,
Dawn