Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Decision of Discipline . . .

Oops I said it -- the dreaded D word . . . Discipline. There are different types of discipline ya know. There is the art of discipline (my personal fav), the act of discipline (the difficult one sometimes) and then there's the plain old fashion kind of discipline, like when it comes to your kids (the one I'm probably the worst at -- I generally run and hide afterwards and feel awful and cry and run my mascara, its a mess, but more on that cheery note in a minute =)

So let's start with the art of discipline. This is what I mean by it being an art. When I participate in a Bible Study and I break the Word of God open with a friend . . . to me it is like art. To watch the scenes come alive from the written Word. It truly is an amazing thing!!! I look so forward to studying God's Word and sharing with someone and hearing their understanding of the same Scripture. GREAT!! But you have to practice discipline to take the time each day to participate in a daily study of the Word.

The act of discipline, are things like making sure our house is clean and the laundry done, beds made, floors swept. . . ya know, daily stuff that doesn't fall into the category of fun, but must be done. And that takes discipline in action!!

Now on to discipline just plain and simple, straight-up discipline of the children variety, and hence the main reason for this particular post. I considered posting about this when it happened, but didn't. But this is something I feel like God is prompting me to post, and maybe it's just because I will want to look back at it and remember it, but whatever the reason, I always want to be obedient, even in the seemingly, small things.

So Sunday evening, I had to have a discipline session with Dak. Now I talk a lot about him and show pics and brag, and love on him here on this blog, but the one thing I don't do is talk about our conflicts, because frankly there just aren't that many. Yes we have the no you cannot go there talks, or the you will not be able to wear that whatever, but for the most part, he respects our rules and trusts our judgment. He is just a really good kid.

But having said all of that, he certainly is not perfect and sometimes he has his moments, and one such moment came on Sunday evening. He asked me Sunday afternoon if he could cook chicken wings that we had in the freezer. I told him he could, but that he HAD to clean the kitchen when he was done, because it was clean and I wanted it returned the way he found it. No problem was the answer I got and he set about the cooking of chicken wings, which is a HUGE process. So I jumped in and helped him with the breading etc. (big job by yourself) and we talked and laughed and had our usual fun while cooking. So the wings didn't get quite done deep frying, so we baked them to finish them off. YUMMEE!!! (I'm assuming -- I don't partake in CW's -- anyway . . . )

Well (I'm sure ya'll can see where this is going) the kitchen did not get cleaned. So I told him, about 7:00 pm to get in there and clean it up, well he was on facebook with four people, so I told him to finish it up and get to the kitchen. Well about 30 minutes later, he still had not come into clean the kitchen, so I cleaned it up. (OK I know what your thinking, but I had had enough and wanted the kitchen cleaned before bed and it was starting to get late and decided that discipline was going to have to be in order). So after a while, he comes sauntering in and I told him he just needed to sit. So he knew at that point he was in BIG trouble.

I told him he would not have to clean the kitchen because it was done. He was shocked. I told him that I had something else in mind. He was to get his Bible and do some research and he was to write me a paper on obeying his parents. What God says about it and why it is so important. I told him I wanted it by Monday evening, and if he didn't get it done then he would be grounded (which means no date this weekend -- what?!!) I told him it was not alright that he did not obey.

So he went to his room and got his Bible and wrote his paper. Now I know that some of you maybe reading this thinking I'm crazy. But I'm telling you this is something that works for this family. There have been other offences that have required a paper to be written. Like the time he told a lie. We had him do a paper on The Truth. Oh yes there have been other times. And each time it ends with a very good conversation and good comes out of it and this time was no different.

This led to us having a good and honest conversation about obedience and why God requires it from us and why He requires it of children to their parents. And then that led to other things and it ended with a hug and an "I love you mom, sorry I didn't obey you". I love this child so much. I am not so much about doing things the way they've always been done, but doing things to help him learn. I could have just grounded him, but that would have just made him mad and me exhausted by the end of the week, and there would not have been the good discussion and the understanding. I believe in getting creative even in discipline, especially if it teaches young one a lesson.

Have a blessed evening,


  1. Dawn, I think this was a wonderful way to deal with the problem! You are such a good mom. You are right...grounding just makes them mad and makes you exhuasted. This was way better!! I loved it! ;)

  2. I love the way you handled this. I'm tucking this away for down the road when I have disobedient teenagers =)

  3. Dawn, you are right. Different kids respond to discipline differently. I love your method. It is kin to what I used to do also. My kids still tease me about some of the things I had them do. THey always had to find bible verses that pertained to the offense. It works thought. They are all well grounded Christians. My oldest and youngest are mothers now and are raising their children in Christ.

    You are such delight!

    In Him,

  4. I think Dak understands your discipling him in this way probably more than if you yelled & just grounded him & got all crazy about it... a calm & sensible way with showing him God's word on it - AWESOME!!!!

    Personally - I'd make a HUGE mess & make him clean it though - hehe!!!

    You do have a good kid there!

  5. Sounds very similar to some times in the Wallace house. AND, I love the times that a good, meaningful conversation comes after the discipline... those times I remember.

    Just wait... in a couple more years your relationship will change a bit when he becomes an "adult" and it gets really sweet!!

  6. I can't imagine that sweet boy being disobedient! Are you sure? (-: What great wisdom you have as a mom, Dawn. I think this was a great way to handle this situation and I am sure that the discussion made for a precious time together.

    Grounding really never does work --I think it is just as much punishment for the parents as it is for the kid! lol

    Thank you so much for the sweet e-card you sent me. I really needed a little "pick-me-up" when it arrived and it sure did the trick!

    Love you, friend!