Thursday, May 29, 2008

4+ and Counting. . . and the Rejection Factor~~

Well, okay so I've been telling you about the Bible study that B Moore is facilitating and how I'm getting a group of ladies together (hopefully) to go through this with me. Well, I'm happy to report I have 4+ (one lady may be bringing a girl she is to be a mentor to - yeah) and today I'll be asking 2 more ladies (my neighbors) if they'd like to join us, so that will be a group of 6-7 + me.

Now let me just say that I have no confidence in something like this. I have a few close friends that come over and hang out with me, but as far as hosting a Bible study in my home, I've never done that. I've spent a lot of my life with what I like to call the "rejection factor". It has been an ugly cloud that has kept me in mediocrity and doubt for much of my adult life. Being afraid that you will be rejected is one thing ~~ but let's face it, in life rejection is par for the course. But for me I've never really known how to deal with it. I never remember a time being sat down and told that it was a part of life. So I've spent much of my life living in a nice little box of "safety pens" if you will. But all of them pens ~~ little cages that have kept me locked inside for fear that you might respond with a no to me and then what? !! Oh the uncomfortableness of that moment and the feeling that I'm not good enough and on and on. . . so I built for myself these "safety pens" that I could lock myself into and rationalize why I don't get more involved.

Well, before you count me completely gone and crazy, God is so God and I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I read about this Bible study, immediately He spoke to my heart and gave me courage (something that is lacking in me). I felt empowered; like I could take on the world, but then it happened ~~ I had to act on what He was saying!! And of course I did what I always do when faced with potential rejection: I rationalized the situation. Well, maybe I'll just ask one or two (safe) people that I know will come, and then if they can't I'll just go it alone. Oh I know I'm to do the study, but maybe just by myself ~~ no one will know I was suppose to ask ~~ and on and on and deeper and deeper into the pens of safety I went, until I just couldn't go there anymore. God was asking something of me that I've been praying to Him for: open the door to ministry. Well He was and I was closing it, yet again. You see I think that we are very willing to go through the door that looks like the one that we imagine for ourselves, but God wants to do even what we haven't imagined ~~ WOW hard for me to imagine:)

So why am I telling you all of this? The sadness I feel in my heart over the moments (and seasons) of mediocrity is great. I do not wish to live in that "safe pen" anymore ~~ let me out!! I feel so uncomfortable and so out of my element. I'd rather write in a cave and study in the "comfort" of my living room than be forced into the open and face rejection. But God ~~ don't you love that about Him? He steps in and WOW all is well somehow. He can handle any rejection I will ever face ~~ He will help me. So I'm throwing caution to the wind and I'm going to light candles, put on music and cook for the ladies that God has so entrusted to the care of our home. But just in case :), you might pray courage for me. I want to be bold and courageous for the Lord.

I firmly believe that He is moving and shaking our culture and generation. He wants to use all of us ~~ we all have giftings and talents that He has given and some are locked in "safety pens" ~~ I encourage you today to go on get out of those safe pens and into the light of God's possibilities for you.

Thanks for listening and praying (and commenting if you want:),
I love you and care deeply for all of you~~
In Christ alone,

Ephesians 3:20-21 "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, 21 to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."


  1. oh this was just beautiful. don't we all have that fear of rejection. It's easier for me to talk in person than blogging what the Lord is telling me on a certain day. Putting it out there without seeing the eyes of the readers sometimes makes me sooooo nervous. But that is how I know it is God working through me....because it is so out of my league!!! I PRAISE HIM FOR CALLING YOU TO GET THESE WOMEN TOGETHER. OH HOW HE WILL WORK THROUGH YOU AND HOW WONDERFUL IT WILL BE WHEN IT IS OVER TO KNOW YOU YEILDED IT ALL TO HIM!!!!! OH TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!!!

  2. Hi! I linked over here from Kelly's Korner to look at your comfy family room. I also saw Beth Moore's challenge to hold a summer bible study. I have emailed several of my friends and trying to get it together. Just wanted to encourage you to stay on your knees and ask God to give you His power and not rely on your own. That is such a huge challenge for me. I started teaching a women's SS class at my church last year and I struggle so bad with the feeling that teaching is NOT my spiritual gift. But then I have to ask myself, "Did God give me the ability to read a bible study and facilitate discussions with my peers?". Yes-I think I'm capable. Plus, I really care about these women in my class!Don't let Satan discourage you!

    Phil 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about ANYTHING!!!

    Nice meeting you...