Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Only He could Save the Day!!!

"Circumstances may appear to wreck our lives and God's plans, but God is not helpless among the ruins. God's love is still working. He comes in and takes the calamity and uses it victoriously, working out His wonderful plan of love." by Eric Liddell

I have considered this post practically since the onset of this blog. What would I say? How would I approach this? And this morning in all my frailties I know, just trust God.

Twenty-two years ago today, July 8, 1986 ushered in a very sad and dark time for me in my life. A darkness that would last for years, in fact so dark that I didn't even realize it was dark anymore; it just became my life for that very long season.

I was married on November 14, 1985 to David. He was in my estimation "the best guy ever" (in my best valley girl accent :) I met him on a blind date just before my senior year of high school. It was an up and down relationship, as often they are when you're really young. But just two short years later we were married in a beautiful wedding.

In April of 1986 tragedy struck our family; we lost my sister Dana in a motorcyle accident. You can read about that here if you'd like. Then on July 8, 1986 tragedy struck again. I'd kissed my husband and watched him drive down the road out of sight. I went back in and got ready for work and left. I had no idea my whole life was about to change, and I was only 19 years old.

I got a call at about 10:00 am that there had been an accident involving my husband and I needed to get to the hospital right away. I really didn't know what I'd find, but I certainly wasn't expecting what happened. By the time I got to the hospital, he was gone. He'd been electrocuted on the job and didn't make it. I couldn't comprehend or fathom what had just happened in my life. It was unthinkable. I'd just lost my sister three short months before, how could this happen now when the pain from that was still so raw?

Nothing made sense. God to me in that moment made no sense. I was so angry. The "whys" were flying all over the place. I was so hurt and broken, I didn't know what to do. I did not have a close relationship with Christ. I'd known Him when I was younger, but the path I'd taken didn't really include Him much. And now, instead of clinging to God I ran, hard, the other direction.

I lived life in a fog for years after that really. Yes I remember things, but not all things as I should. There were moments of happiness that touched me, and there were of course many mistakes, many failings. But in the course of this time God was doing a work. He wanted me to know Him; I could feel Him, I knew He was there somehow. He started softening my hard heart and started nudging me ever closer to Him. I'd built a very large and fortified wall for myself, determined not to be hurt again by life as I had been in 1986. Even as I type this I cringe.

So why even talk about this? Why bring it up? Because what God has done in my life since that time has been nothing short of miraculous!! If you were to look inside the girl at that time and then peer into the one that sits and types this post you would say the two were not even related; and yet we are the same physical person. But God has so done an overhaul of my heart.

The song that is playing in the background is one that just lifts my heart and spirit, because truly that is what God has done, He's "Saved the Day" and not just for a broken widow, but for all of us who Believe!! He tore the veil away and opened wide the prison gate, He saved the day!! He is hope that springs eternal, because of Him all things are new!! And I am a testimony of that fact. My life is new because of Christ Jesus. He saw the broken down widow I would become, drowning in sadness and the whys of life, and He Saved the Day for me.

What happened to me in 1986 was tragic and changed my life, but I wouldn't be the person I am today had that not happened to me. God has made me stronger because of what life dealt me.
Today I sit here a woman of more faith and strength than I had. I have a husband that loves me completely and Biblically, and a terrific child, and all of this because of God's touch into my very broken life. I still struggle, it is true, and even as I write this my heart is still sad. But I suppose it will always be. It is a solemn reminder of the way things were. But hope springs eternal. God is so Good. He loves me so far beyond what I deserve. He's been reminding me this morning that He is Sovereign, He is good and He is beyond all I can ask for or imagine Him to be. I'm so thankful that He didn't let me go. I'm so thankful that His ways are not mine, because trust me I'd have really messed things up and still would on a daily basis!!

So my dear ones reading this, please don't be sad, the story is sad, but the result of God's working through it ~~ WOW ~~ life transforming. He took the brokenness and made it whole, the sadness and turned it to joy. I am reminded of a post by Angie of the broken vase that she glued back together. That is how I kind of feel, back together, but not the same as I was before it happened, Hallelujah!! The vase, in my estimation is more beautiful today sitting as the centerpiece on the table of life's experiences than it was when it was deemed "useful" by the world.

So I sit here today glued back together but still with the scars of those days some 22 years ago. I'm so thankful that God didn't throw this lump of clay away. I'd like to leave you with Words from Jeremiah 18:1-4:

"This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD: 2 'Go down to the potter's house and there I will give you My message.' 3 So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. 4 But the pot he was shaping was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him."

Abba Father,

Thank you for shaping me into what is best for You. You are beyond everything, and I love you beyond my ability to express it!! Thank you for allowing me to be with the family You have given me, and thank You for making all things new!! Thank you for Saving the Day through Christ Jesus Your Son and my Lord!! You are AWESOME!! Amen.

3 comments:

  1. Wow, Dawn! What an amazing post! I am so thankful that you shared this with us. It really spoke to my heart.
    Praise His name for how He has worked in your life and for saving the day! (I love that song, too!)
    He is so good!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dawn, thank you so much for sharing this. I didn't have the same experience as you, but I know all about being remolded, over and over again! Thank you so much for sharing!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I almost didn't scroll down to that story just now after I left you that last comment. But I am so glad I did! What an inspiring story. I had no idea you had been through anything like that. Thank you so much for sharing! I know you will be such a testimony to God's faithfulness when people read about what happened in your life!!

    I am so glad you have been put back together and God has turned your sadness into joy again!

    ReplyDelete