I can honestly say, that this has only happened to me maybe once, and I can't even remember the circumstance, but now I can say it has happened again and I won't forget the circumstance this time.
Just before 4:00 am this morning I woke up and had a stingy pain in my chest. And given the events of this past weekend, it was freaking me out. So I got up to go to the bathroom and it was still stingy. It felt really weird, so I put my hand on my chest where it was hurting and I felt something. It was the sticky stuff from all the patches they put on me this weekend. I mean seriously there were like 10-15 patches on me in various places, even my ankles. So as I touched my chest and realized the stingy I was feeling was from where the patch had been and it was sticking to my shirt, I realized just how fearful I am right now. And in that moment God hastened me to come.
So I told my dear man that I was going to pray, and he repeatedly asked me if I was okay, I love him so, to which I assured him I was. I went out to our prayer room (love this room) and as soon as I got in there and shut the door, it was like a dam burst in me, all the things I am fearing and have been dealing with these past few weeks and even months came flooding out. And then the stillness came and I just listened to Jesus lovingly drawing me to Himself and telling me NOT to fear. It was such a beautiful time with the Lord.
I so needed this. I have been dealing with a lot of things in life lately. A lot of stresses, a lot of pain, and apparently a lot of fear. I know that God is drawing me to a deeper place in Him, and I so want to be obedient to His call in my life, but I realize that His call is to Him everyday. Somewhere along the way, I found myself waiting for the Big Call. You know the thing that just makes it all make sense, ya know the, this is what I'm suppose to be doing with my life, kind of Call, but really I only need to trust, and as I trust and do daily what He calls me to do, He is working it out in me. It is a beautiful thing.....being loved by our ever-present Help, the Author and Finisher of our faith, the Alpha and Omega, my Savior and King, yes being so loved by God is a beautiful thing.
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My sweet husband D, has taken today off of work to just hang out with me. He is going to take me to one of our favorite restaurants for lunch, Zio's and then it's on to Best Buy to look at possibly a new computer, mine has died again, so I've been using his.
I'm still having some tightness in my chest, but I think I just need to breathe and let God work in me as He desires. I know that I am His and He is mine, so it's all good!!!
Have a Blessed day,
I just read your post below and have begun praying...I just read this message and I'm continuing to pray dear sweet sister.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are a prayer shawl around you and your husband and family.
Your words: "And in that moment God hastened me to come."
That says it all! Our GOD calls us and we must go to HIM when He calls. He loves us and takes the burdens (fear, etc.) away.
I love you.
I'm sure you are holding tight to fear - we all do when something scary & out of our control happens. But wow - what a wake up call to just let go of the fear & remember who is in control.
ReplyDeleteI just love you have a prayer room... & that you are so faithful to use it...
Enjoy your afternoon with your husband!!! Happy computer shopping!
I am so thankful that God is speaking to you in the stillness Dawn. I am praying for you sweet sister.
ReplyDeleteFear can be such a crippling emotion and I pray that you will find peace and comfort and healing in the precious time with a Faithful God.
YOu are a blessing to me,
Dawn,
ReplyDeleteJust reading your post gave me chills because you can feel God's almighty presence in your post today. Not a fearful one but a respectful one.
I am lifting you up in prayer, sweet sister and asking God to remove the pain, and tightness you feel in your chest and give you a peace about you today as if you have been bathed in His healing waters.
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
I am just now catching up on your weekend, you poor thing. Have they decided yet what caused the problem? I don't blame you for being nervous when the stinging started.
ReplyDeleteTake it easy- don't over do it and keep up posted.
God I pray that you will watch over Dawn and keep her safe. Be with the doctors and give them the wisdom they need to help her.
In Your Sons Name.
Amen
Dawn,
ReplyDeleteI was just catching up reading your blog and you will be in my prayers! I hope that you get rest and take it slow as you recover.
I hope you are feeling better soon. I'm sorry you've been sick. You should call me when you wake up in the middle of the night. Over the past several months, I've woke up at 3:15 am several days.
ReplyDeletep.s. It's amazing how easier things go when we do the trust!!
Man, I do something silly, like get WAY behind on the blogworld, and look what happens!! I hope everything is going better for you, friend. I'm sorry you had to go through all that and will pray that your Doctor will give you some assurance on your health.
ReplyDeleteHappy LATE birthday, Dak!!