Sunday, September 18, 2011

Hesed Revisited

I am finding this study on Hesed fascinating.

The title of one of the sections in my reading on "The Gospel of Ruth", which is by all accounts fascinating and intriguing, is: "The Trouble with Hesed". Now if Hesed is so wonderful then how could there ever be any trouble with it?

That is an interesting question and one I found myself wondering about as I read, because how could there be any trouble with YHWH's Hesed?

The trouble comes in, when you feel, as Naomi did, that the LORD's Hesed had been taken from you, or maybe that you feel like He isn't showing you Hesed on a particular part of this journey through life.

There have been times in my life when I could relate to that. When my sister and husband died within three months of each other back in 1986, those tragedies became part of my story. I didn't feel like God was showing me any kindness, Hesed, during that time. Oh how I was wrong!! I just didn't know enough at the time to recognize it.

Fast forward some 22 years. We (my Mr. Winslow and I) have been on quite a journey with a family member we love so dearly. The choices that have been made have been very hard to understand. The last 2 1/2 years have been quite a journey. A journey both of pain but also of extraordinary Hesed by my Abba. He has held me more than I have walked I assure you. I have been broken and humbled in ways I didn't know I needed to be.

I thought at one point that I would drown in the deep rivers of sorrow that sin produces. Watching it so closely, through the life of this dearly loved person, has given me new insights and understanding into how much the enemy desires to thwart the plan of God in our and our loved ones lives. Oh but God.

He has saw this differently and has worked in incredible ways to help me see it differently as well. I am a changed woman for sure because of this journey of pain and hope; Great Hope.

My hope is in Jesus. That is where I place my heart and existence, firmly in Him. At the beginning of this current season of my life, I could not imagine that God could use me to help anyone again. How could I help and give hope to anyone when inside I was so broken and hurting so badly myself. Oh but God. He just sees things so differently than we do.

I'm so thankful that while I wallowed around in "what do I do now" mode, that He was all the while pointing me, teaching me and loving me so well with Hesed and showing me how to show it to others.

I'm so thankful for this journey of pain. It has brought me and is continuing to bring me so much closer to Him. He is opening up doors that just would not have been open had the last 2 1/2 years not been fraught with pain and seeking. Oh precious seeking. He is moving in us and we are listening and obeying and believing the best is yet to come!!

I want to leave you with a paragraph from this book that has touched me deeply:

"If someone gives you a pair of gloves when the sun is shining and your hands are warm, it doesn't mean that much. If your well-fed and have plenty of food in your cupboard, a sack of grain and a ready- to-eat meal seem ordinary and perhaps a little boring. Prosperity tends to dull our senses to the presence of God's Hesed in our lives. But, when trouble strikes and you're sitting in the darkness with a heart that aches for Him, the slightest sign of His Presence is monumental. A load of grain, a cooked meal, or a pair of gloves sends a signal -- faint though it may be -- that He is here and He has not forgotten. Naomi's experience is a lot like watching a heart monitor gone flat and suddenly seeing the flicker of a pulse. It is an exhilarating moment -- the best possible news for the despairing Naomi, for now she knows God's Hesed is still here and it is meant for her."

God's Hesed is still here child and meant for you.

I love you ~~ In Him,

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