Friday, February 24, 2012

It Took Me Back.....

Every year my mom has to repeat what we call cancer scans.
You see, my mom has lymphoma.
She was first diagnosed with it in 1990,
and it reappeared in 2005.
So every 3 months we find ourselves in the oncologists office.
And every year around February/March,
she has to have scans to make sure everything is at bay.

For several years now, the scans have NOT included contrast,
because mom is in stage 3 kidney disease.
Well this past year her kidney's stabilized, Praise the LORD!,
and so the ban on contrast was lifted, 
as long as she takes some premeds to help her kidneys.

So yesterday was the day of scans, but this time was a little different.
She had the premeds and then the contrast, and then the scans,
but this year they required us to go over to the cancer center and have an infusion
to flush out her kidney's.
Which meant we had to be in the infusion or chemo room for an extended time.
This has not happened since her last chemo round in '06.

Yes, we go every 4-6 weeks for port flushes, but that is an in and out kind of deal.
No lingering.
No sitting in the recliner.
No stopping really.
Just in a room.
Flush the port.
Leave the area.

Not yesterday.

It took the better part of the afternoon.
3+ hours.
And it was hard.
Not hard on mom, she did fine.
Hard on me, although I didn't let on.
It was hard.

There are people there in the fight of their lives.
That old familiar feeling came back when I used to watch mom fighting for her own.

There was a little old man there probably older than my mom,
About 5'11 or 6'
138 lbs
losing his fight.

His wife was doing EVERYTHING she could to get him to eat.
To help him fight. 
She was tired.
He was sweet.
I was sad.

I don't hate much in this life.
i hate cancer.

I've decided to grow out my hair for locks of love.
I decided this a couple of weeks ago.
Leggs boyfriend Byrd, has a sister who was diagnosed
with a rare form of Hodgkin's Disease, back in December.
She is 28.
i hate cancer.

So Leggs, decided to grow her hair nice and long and cut it off for Locks of Love.
I will join her.
How about you?
Want to join us?

I love you so ~~


  1. I color my hair so I cant donate it :( I wanted to do that for my friend Steph... my hair was REJECTED.. boo!

    Oh mercy... I can remember sitting in the chairs next to my friend when she had her chemo. Its such an experience - so humbling. Witnessing people doing just what you said - FIGHTING for their life. heartbreaking.

    I hate cancer too :(

  2. We will rock the short hair :) Cancer is going dooowwwwnnn!
    I love you.
    And no hating.
    Despise strongly young lady.