Wednesday, August 14, 2013

In the Light.....Beauty in the Broken

There are sometimes in this life that we must walk in the valley.
The valley is necessary.
It changes us to be more like Him.
It humbles us.

I know something of this valley I speak.
Up until 19, I had stuff happen yes.
Bad stuff.  But mainly just the stuff of life.  
Ya know, high school ugliness.
I was picked on....a lot.
They call it bullying now,
but then, 
I was just picked on.
By two boys that now seem to like me ok.
Life is weird. 
High school is horrendous.

Moving on.....
Because I did so long ago anyway.....

When I turned 19, I had the world
by the old proverbial string.


My world got shaken to its core,
and I found myself wallowing in the valley.
Really valley doesn't even really touch where 
I found myself for YEARS after that 19th year of life.
It nearly killed me!!
I found myself in the PIT!!

You see, I've told this story before.
If you follow my blog or know me personally,
you know about this awful year for me.

I turned 19 on August 26th 1985.
I was married to my love on November 14, 1985.
Life was pretty grand.
And then.....

On April 10, 1986, my sister Dana was killed in a 
motorcycle accident.  
She was 18.
The valley began.
It was AWFUL!!!
I didn't know what to do.
None of us did.
I didn't even know how to grieve.
It was all so a really bad way.

We found ourselves going through the dark days and months
that followed.  I tried hard to be a newlywed.
Because thats what we were ya know.
We dreamed.
We loved.
We dreamed some more.
Then July 8, 1986 happened.
Just three short months from my sisters accident.

I kissed him goodbye for work.
Watched him drive off over the hill
and he was gone.
I'd never see him alive again on this side of heaven.
I had NO way of knowing what the next several hours,
days, months, years........would hold.

I got a call about 10:30 AM to leave work and get to the
hospital.  I was about an hour away.
The longest hour of my life.
I held onto our engagement picture.
You see we were newlyweds.
I prayed.
Something I didn't do a lot back then.
I tried to hold it together, because after all
this was going to be quite the story he would have to tell.
And he would laugh at me being so upset.

I got to the hospital and there was no laughter.
Only tears.
Only awful, horrible news.
David had left this earth.
He had been electrocuted on the job,
and just like that,
his time on earth was done.

And then THE PIT started.
And I remained in the pit for years.
Many sad years.
So much I didn't understand.
What had I done wrong to deserve this?
Why me?
You know.....the pit.

It was so hard.
There was little light during those years.
There was some, God made sure of it.
He never let me give up.
In fact, He never let me go.
Even though I was dreadfully angry and hurt.
He understood.
He loved.
and He waited.

You see something amazing was happening IN me
during the years that would follow.
I was a mess on the outside,
but on the inside there was this tiny light that continued to grow.
God wasn't done with me.
I had given my life to Him as a girl.
He hadn't given up on me.
You see He never would and never will.
He loves like that you know.

So this light I speak of started finding its way more and more back into my life.
MANY years later, I would find my way back home in my heart
to my Father.
My Mr. Winslow showed me the way back.
He is the love of my life. 
He led me back to the Father.
Back to the Light.

Funny how life works sometimes.

I write this to say.........
If you find yourself in the valley right now,
or perhaps even the pit, 
because that is what the valley can turn into
if your not careful.
God loves you child.
Remember the valley is for your good.
To humble you.
To change you.
To help you.

But the pit is not intended for you.
Reach out to the Father.
He will help you.
He will.

God is with you.
Jesus said I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you.
If you have given your heart to Him, He is with you.
If you haven't, do it!!  I know that sounds pushy,
but I wish I'd never spent a moment out of His will and way,
just to follow my own.  
It was wasted time.  
No more wasted time.

If you need help finding your way email me.
Talk to a Pastor.
A friend who knows this Jesus I speak of.
This Father who loves you more then ANYONE else.
Don't spend another moment away from Him.
He is the answer.

I love you so ~~ Have a Blessed and Beautiful Day ~~ 

1 comment:

  1. You're story never fails to tug at my heart... bless your sweet soul - the things you've had to endure...

    But I truly believe God works in ALL Circumstances & I believe you carry a grace & humbleness because of what you've gone through... something God uses every day...

    Hugs & love to you friend...